Keep thinking of this one thing, and it makes me wondering why on earth should this happened to me... Why this kind of thing? Why it is not something different that the mind and heart can accept it. It leaves a big scar in my heart, and I don't think many of us can accept the truth after what I've been through. You know, something not in my mind to happen and yet out of my control I 'got the big present', the most painful in my entire life. Is that something that I should get for being kind, for being what I am? I did nothing wrong to accept this kind of thing, and to be truthful I learn a lesson about trust.
Yes, until today I still can't forget. I can accept what had happened, but I'm sorry for myself that I can't accept the reason why it happened in the beginning. Why after so many good things that I did, or try to be good for all the way. It can be stop or it could not happened at all just if you stop yourself of doing so... You may keep it as a secret from me forever, but you can't imagine how it hurts me so damn hard when I knew it by myself. Feeling down and traumatized by what you have did behind me and it's so unfair of being me in many ways.
Yes, until today I still can't forget. I can accept what had happened, but I'm sorry for myself that I can't accept the reason why it happened in the beginning. Why after so many good things that I did, or try to be good for all the way. It can be stop or it could not happened at all just if you stop yourself of doing so... You may keep it as a secret from me forever, but you can't imagine how it hurts me so damn hard when I knew it by myself. Feeling down and traumatized by what you have did behind me and it's so unfair of being me in many ways.
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.
